PANDEMIC LOVE 3
A late night update from cloudy and cold Canada…
The third wave is pushing down on us here in Ontario. We are like children where the parents have left for vacation, instructions scribbled on some paper….illegible. I remember when my parents did leave me and my brothers alone and went on vacation. Those were the days. They went far far south - Mexico I think - and I remember me and my brothers being alone at the house, spooked by noises and trying to live like adults.
And I hardly go around the block.
The pandemic has brought that strange stripping-away of freedom. Yes, the freedom to do things, but the freedom to have the OPTION to do things…which in some ways, is a harder pill to swallow.. For example, I never want to go on a cruise ship. But there was something nice about always thinking, well, if I wanted to go on a cruise ship, I could.
The freedom of perceived freedom.
Opinions are swirling around here in Ontario….non-stop. It makes getting through harder. Complaints - justified or not - are like weeds on the path. Thorny tall plants. Yes, this is not the exit strategy we envisioned. Uncertainty. Online school. Nonsensical vaccine roll-out. Too much family time.
The only answer is to surrender to love. It’s the only thing that feels any good.
With my book out for pre-order (THANK YOU THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PRE-ORDERED IT ALREADY) I’ve been reliving the writing of it. I don’t know why I wrote this book not even really imagining people reading it. Was it really for myself? Was I just too inside the exercise of writing a book? But now mom and dad are reading the advanced copies. (Ugh!) Music journalists. They say it’s good. Tegan and Sara have a copy. Jann Arden’s getting one. I would give one to you but I’m still ironing out typos. Anyway, I keep thinking of the bravery or foolishness of emptying out everything into these pages for publication! For audiobook recording! For Kindle!
I realize I share things in the book I’ve never told anyone.
The book has bought reflection. Life has brought new challenges. In the past year I’ve weathered the storm of figuring out my co-parenting relationship. Stan Tatkin, the author and renowned marriage counsellor, talks about the delusions we carry post-breakup. He asks the reader of his book “We Do” to answer why you would expect your ex to be there for you (in any way) when they weren’t there for you in your marriage? An honest perspective, even if it’s hard to accept. But this year, I realized that this dream of a Paltrow-type co-parenting world, where new loves and old can be photographed laughing around lattes, is just that - the stuff of celebrity photographs.
I turn again to music - whether it’s my quest for Michael McDonald…a pop song with Rob Wells…a yacht rock album about to be made…for escape and comfort.
I turn to your kind words, your letters, your receipts of pre-orders.
And then there are the little surprises. Always in the music.
My song “Victory Kids” being unearthed due to the sorrowful passing of the great Paul Humphrey. If you haven’t heard his new wave band Blue Peter, look them up. Some great 80’s pop for the soul. I reflected on writing “Victory Kids” for Paul…a song I wrote with Joe Elliott for our always-looming, never-released project…and all I can come away with is that I’m glad I sent it to Paul when he was living and healthy. (I shared this song with you some time ago in Rare Songs) These chances we take - to show our souls, our hearts…they are ALWAYS worth it.
Maybe you’re thinking of showing your heart to someone. Just go on ahead and do it.
And my collaborator Joe Corcoran…finishing his masters in music in California…while raising two little kids…I gave him a song called “Drove Home” which I wrote in 2018 for my then beau Earl Slick (yes we dated 18 years after being in the Bowie band together)…and Joe re-imagined and re-recorded it for his end-of-Masters album project. His take on it reminded me that beauty is everywhere…in old songs, in loves lost…in old bandmates…in soaring melodies. I’ll share the song with you in rare songs. No one has heard it. Well, Slick heard the demo. But…I’m not sure he appreciated it. Hence: ex.
Should I release Drove Home? Leave me a comment or write me a note.
So as we endure the changing weather of this pandemic - the visitor who overstayed - find your solace in some exit music. Whatever makes your heart feel carried and held, or whatever makes it want to light up.
One final recommendation - a beautiful piano album by a chap named Brian Crosby who was part of The Cake Sale in Ireland (the album I was a part of for Oxfam). Please give “Imbrium” some serious spins - it will give you the break from the noise that you need. It’s on streaming, and here:
https://briancrosby.bandcamp.com
Stay strong. Write me a note if you like. Let me know how you are.
Love Emm